Tuesday - 9:20 p.m.
I left a dreary gray city and returned to a warm place budding with life. I'm not sure which one of us actually changed, the town or me. But, for the first time in what seemed like an eternity, sleep came to me without any dreams and my apartment no longer felt like a meat locker. I feel like I've opened my eyes after having them closed for months.
Today I felt the bright sun embrace my face and warm my hair. I went outside and listened to the birds sing. The only thing that really freaked me out about Texas was hearing birds again. The sounds of birds in March is not something I'm used to, since most of the birds in my town are still vacationing in Acapulco at this time of year.
Also, in Ohio our birds actually chirp - pleasantly I might add. Birds in Ohio are small and pretty - cardinals, sparrows, finches, robins and the like. In Texas, the birds are huge black monsters that emit a blood-curdling shriek that chills the very soul. I swear I heard one scream "nevermore" at me as I walked up 4th street to see a show.
But things seem better here somehow and I have been flushed with a surreal feeling of hope that I haven't experienced in a long time. It almost seems like I'm coming down a long winding road towards something good. Something I have been traveling towards for a while and that I can finally see in the distance, something that actually feels attainable rather than unreachable for the first time.
I think a lot of unanswered questions in my life might finally be answered. Renewed by this vigor, I called and talked with Shannon's parents today. I meet with them on Thursday night.
