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Monday - 10:16 p.m.

I went to the thrift store today. I picked up some used t-shirts from defunct softball teams and a belt with pictures of frogs on it. The belt is pretty cool. I'd never seen a frog belt before.

It'll make great conversation at wherever I eat Thanksgiving dinner this year.

Afterward, Mitchell and I went over to see if Gerald was home. Gerald is staying with his girlfriend Devita and was indeed there. He was also pretty much almost naked. Gerald had somehow fashioned a welcome mat into a crude loincloth, and it was all he had on to cover himself.

Gerald explained to us that he was out of clean underwear and couldn't leave the house to go out and buy more. He said that Devita and the washer and dryer were “gone” and wouldn’t have been much help to him anyway. I guess she isn’t very good at doing laundry.

We explained to Gerald that he was a moron.

He didn’t like that. All morons hate it when you call them a moron.

Mitchell was hungry and decided to raid Gerald's fridge. I wish he hadn't because discovering what Gerald keeps in his refrigerator is something I could have gone without knowing. Gerald had a grand total of eight items inside his refrigerator consisting of six twenty-four ounce cans of Icehouse beer, and two forty-eight ounce tubs of Land-o-Lakes margarine.

At least the day wasn't a total wash. I did manage to get a cool frog belt.

The worst part was that Elkie never called me like she said she would.

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