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Wednesday - 12:20 p.m.

I had a conversation with Ted Nugent yesterday. Then he signed my cookbook.

I had stopped by the bookstore off-campus on Kenny Road on my way to the club where I bartend part-time, to get a copy of When Bad Things Happen to Good People by Harold S. Kushner. I thought that the book might shed some light on why the only way to currently gain entry to my apartment, is to crawl through my kitchen window.

I am, of course, assuming that I am "Good people," and having to crawl through my kitchen window is a "Bad Thing." Anyway, I picked up a copy of When Bad Things Happen to Good People by Harold S. Kushner, and when I turned around, that's when I saw Certified Crazy Person Ted Nugent.

Apparently Certified Crazy Person Ted Nugent was here in town yesterday because the old Motor City Madman was playing what he constitutes as a rock show at the State Fair. Beforehand, he signed copies of his cookbook at the bookstore off-campus on Kenny Road. His cookbook is called Kill It and Grill It. It's all about how to "Stalk, Kill, Dress, and Prepare" wild game. Several of the three people waiting in line to see him were carrying bows and arrows.

I bought a copy of Kill It and Grill It and had Madman sign it. He refused to sign the copy of The Most Dangerous Game by Richard Connell I also bought for irony. He and I also had a brief conversation.

"so, you're a crazy motherfucker, huh?" I asked the crazy motherfucker.

"Yeah. I'm bad news," the Motor City Madman replied, clearly not reading my sarcasm.

"me too," I answered and winked. It was one of those long sarcastic drawn-out winks, and I think the symbolism went over his head.

Before heading into the club where I bartend part-time, I left my copy of Kill It and Grill It in front of the door of my neighbor, who lives two doors down, and has the large barking dogs. I'm sure he can use it more than I can. I’m almost certain he already owns The Most Dangerous Game and perhaps lives it daily.

In other news, my laptop is still acting weird. My degenerate gambler friend David did an internet search and thinks it's a problem with something called a "CMOS Battery." I’d never heard of one of those, and I’m thinking that he doesn’t know and is just making stuff up. David hinted that he wanted to know what's written in the letter that I found inside the trunk that Shannon had left me in her will, but I'm not sure if I should recount the letter's contents at all.

The letter is currently locked inside the trunk that Shannon had left me in her will. Getting it out would mean opening the trunk. I don’t really want to do that. I told David that all the letter had in it was a recipe for guacamole and instructions on origami.

He didn’t buy it, but it did delay him from pressing further. I asked Elkie if I should discuss the contents of the letter that I found inside the trunk that Shannon left me in her will with other people. I know Elkie is mad at me for having read it. Elkie said I should never open "that fucked up letter" ever again. Then Elkie kissed the cut on my right hand. She looked up into my eyes and smiled at me.

Her smile penetrated me.

Elkie then told me that I'm "good people," but it doesn’t really matter in the end because “bad things” happen to everyone. We just notice it more when they happen to the good.

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