Thursday - 12:20 p.m.
I have an appointment tomorrow.
It's with the police detective in charge of the investigation into whoever broke into my apartment. He wants me to "come down to the station" and "answer some questions."
It was so cliché that I felt like I was in an episode of Dragnet. I don't know what other questions this guy wants or even has left to ask me; I already answered a bajillion or so last Friday when the police came over after the break-in. This detective sounded serious though, so I guess I can't leave town.
On the bright side of things, they're supposed to be coming in to fix my front door today. I've had to drive my car lately because I can't get my bike in and out of my kitchen window. This has been rather annoying because parking in front of my building sucks.
I told Gerald about Certified Crazy Person Ted Nugent, and he went into a fit of uncontrollable laughter. He told me one of his ex-girlfriends once slept with Ted Nugent. Gerald seems to have a lot of ex-girlfriends, but I’ve never seen any of them, hell, I haven’t even seen his current girlfriend. Gerald’s romantic relationships seem to have a lifespan of about three weeks, and that kind of turnover leaves him with a lot of ex-girlfriends. Gerald is currently involved with this uber-goth chick named DeVita Exile. I don't think DeVita is her given name, but rather her "Goth-I-want-to-be-a-vamp" stage name. Lord knows what her real name is; it’s probably Becky or Louise. I haven’t seen her though. No one has. I’ve heard she owns an awful lot of fishnet.
I sat down to read When Bad Things Happen to Good People by Harold S. Kushner and soon realized that I had wasted five dollars. The first chapter, Why Do the Righteous Suffer? by the title alone seemed very promising. But the whole book is full of shit. It's all about Baby Jesus and why he loves us, and blah, blah, blah.
What I really wanted was an answer like, "bad things happen to good people, because that's the only way for the good guy to be able to say something witty, right after he kicks the bad guy's ass. If it weren't for bad things, all the good one-liners would be wasted."
Instead, I got answers like, "bad things happen because Yahweh Junior loves you." Look, I already spent thirteen years in Catholic school; thank you. I’ve seen that movie before already. After I finished reading the book last night, I shoved it down my garbage disposal. It seemed fitting.
My appointment with Kojak is at ten tomorrow morning.
I wonder if I should wear a tie?