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Thursday - 8:22 a.m.

After coming to the stark conclusion that I have indeed gone nuts, I went out yesterday to the costume shops here in town to find a Napoleon Bonaparte outfit to wear.

The lady behind the counter at the first costume shop I went to convinced me that wearing a Napoleon Bonaparte outfit was probably not a good idea since I'm six-foot-four inches tall, and Napoleon was something like three-foot seven. The lady behind the counter at the first costume shop I went to said she doubted they made Napoleon Bonaparte outfits in my size.

She said I would look "silly."

I told her that I needed it because I had gone mad, and perhaps looking "silly" was the least of my concerns. She answered that I obviously hadn't gone mad, because thinking that you've gone mad is a sure sign of sanity. Only a sane person could have the mental stability to analyze his own state of mind. An insane person wouldn't be able to tell the difference.

That’s pretty damn insightful for a clerk at a costume shop.

Then she smiled at me and suggested I go for an Elvis look instead.

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