Tuesday - 1:11 a.m.
I got lost in Elkie's brown eyes tonight.
She had called and asked if I wanted to come over to her place for a late supper. I accepted even though I'm always nervous about going over to Elkie's apartment because her cat hates me.
I was already feeling a little depressed over the prospect of having to hunt down and kill Gerald, so I accepted her invitation, but we never got around to eating.
It was afterward, as I held her that I got lost in Elkie's brown eyes. I never wanted to be found. I could see my own reflection staring back at me in Elkie's brown eyes, and it was almost as if she and I were one entity. I stared into her, and saw myself, a tiny echo engulfed by her soul. For that brief lapse of time, lost in Elkie's brown eyes, I was a better man.
And if only for an instant, it felt like I was good.
During that ever-fleeting moment, I was never a failure, nothing had ever gone wrong, my parents hadn't died ashamed of me, and I had always been what I should have been.
I started to tell Elkie that she was my only truth and that I loved her, but Elkie held her finger against my lips and halted my speech before I could begin. We didn't speak at all until I began to leave.
That's when Elkie told me she was glad I was still around, that she was glad I hadn't given up hope.
She told me that hope was good, and that I was hers.